UBM - New Year-New Me

Gosh, I feel like the year is already moving at light speed.  I thought I better check in with a brief update on my progress before too much time passes. 

For my personal update, I started the year off with a couple week long bout of food poisoning that morphed into a stomach flu.  The illness really toyed with my weight loss, causing me to lose 5 pounds in 2 days and then plateau.  This was happening off and on and my digestive track still hasn’t quite gotten back on track.  That said, to date I’m down 35 pounds, almost 4 dress sizes and have abstained from alcohol for 5 months (169 days).  Below is a progress picture comparing when I started in August, through today.  It’s a good start but there is more work to do.  I’ve lined up several doctor’s appointments to see how things are looking internally including my annual bloodwork.  I’m anxious to see how my bloodwork is comes out having cleared the alcohol from my system.  I anticipate seeing better triglyceride levels as well as liver levels, which were just starting to rise when I began this journey.  

The next step is to begin consultations for reconstructive surgery (skin removal/tummy tuck) to see what that process is going to look like.  After months and months of research, I’ve decided I want the Fleur De Lis tummy tuck (see surgical diagram below progress picture).  I’ve been chatting with others from the support group and was happy to find someone who is my same height, started at the same weight as me and lost the same amount of weight that I have.  She’s been very honest about her journey and has shared before and after pictures.  She said that they removed a total of 7 pounds of skin which sounds disappointing but I have to remind myself that most newborns weigh about that same.  That’s not insignificant.  It’s weird to think that this used to only be a thought and now I’m actually starting to plan.  But anyway… here’s the progress picture

Here’s the Fleur De Lis diagram - the top line doesn’t always go up as high as the below shows.

So, what’s going on with the UBM?  It’s been slow moving.  Could have guessed that balancing regular work as well as personal initiatives are always difficult.  I’ve got about 25 half written blogs that I’ll eventually finish but for now, sit in draft status.  Be patient with me, I’m still sorting out my thoughts and trying to prioritize which post should come next.  Like you’ve seen, I’ll continue balancing between personal and UBM blogs.  

Mentally, the healing process is well underway.  I’ve noticed quite a few positive changes:

• There is relief in no longer waking up with regret and feeling the need to apologize for bad behavior
• I no longer sit night after night trying to untangle a cord that deliberately tangles itself up and then denies doing so 
• My anxiety has significantly decreased
• I have found peace
• Alcohol no longer serves a place in my life.  It’s no longer my problem solver.  I’ve found that I’m able to adapt to environments where there is alcohol - Example: one of our fantasy football friends passed away.  Tradition for this group is to do a shot at the beginning and end of the season to pay respects to those who have passed.  In lieu of flowers, I got everyone a personalized shot glass with his team name.  When the group took their shot, I poured my soda water in mine and participated in the toast.  Same thing with my Zumba Christmas party.  I poured my soda water into a wine glass.  It worked.  
• But I think the most rewarding change is believing in myself without worrying what others think 

This last bullet is probably the most important for me and probably my readers.  As you start and progress through your journey, you’re going to want people to celebrate your and to understand your limitations but the reality is, they may not always be there for you.  Worse yet, they may not even care.  You have to understand that this is your journey and everything you do or don’t do should be strictly for you.  This philosophy is shared with alcoholics when they are trying to get sober.  They can’t get sober for anyone but themselves.  We’ve got to apply that same philosophy.  It’s a tough pill.  I remember trying to talk to people about my transfer addiction but the reality was, no one cared.  In fact, some down played it, others said I was using it as an excuse and others just didn’t want to accept the fact.  Losing weight and expecting everyone to notice every pound or inch of your progress, is an unrealistic expectation.  You have to set personal goals and reward yourself when you achieve those goals.  It’s just that simple.  It’s harsh, I know.  But the quicker we can understand that in our journey, the more successful we will be. 

Happy New Year friends!  Till next time-